C+ Notepad

Weds, 21nd Oct 2009

2009-10-22T13:59:00.003+08:00

! 半醉地跟客開會, 表現不佳.

! 竟然沒想到上網找票子, 見uncle白走一趟, 很窩囊的感覺.

! 夜半二時, 還未吃飯的K 捧著味精湯喝呀喝時, 我心酸如檸檬.

!! 不孝女睡過頭, 趕不及跟媽吃 birthday brunch, 過份中的過份.

!!! 又喝多了酒.
------------------

* 第一次近距離觀察父與子的相處, 有趣有趣.

* Reconnected with K

* Dave agreed to sponsor my party... hor hor hor

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^是日無讀, 還未煲湯. Hm

Tues, 20th Oct 2009

2009-10-21T01:50:00.004+08:00

! The end doesn't always justify the mean
為媽搞生日會, 我要求她積極不干預, 她要求一張報價清單; 我氣她質疑我的專業, 她要求行使知情權.

天花龍鳳搞一大頓, 不就是想為她打打氣, 讓她高興一夜嘛? 未成局, 先吵架, 週日再歡暢, 但今日還是先令媽upset了呀!!

! 口輕輕
跟decorator 通電時心不在焉, 順口答應星期五到鴨記拿轉轉燈. 自己好得閒咩? 又, 要記住搭地鐵往返, 免得再次倒貼.

! 無心煮吃
踏入第八天了, 明天一定要煲湯.

! 未完成的夢
時間無多, 發力發力.
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* 新朋友們俾面出席週日派對, 滿窩心的.

* 叫劉少姐"返屋企"時, 佢第一次跑呀快快的跑到我面前.

* 學識用Google Form, 呵呵呵!

--------------------------
^ 是日無讀, 睡前補回.

2009-07-06T15:11:00.000+08:00

Just because you love someone doesn't mean you have to be involved with them.
Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.

Blind Spot - Chapter 1

2009-06-19T13:37:00.002+08:00

pg 27
It is very hard for most of us to admit that our judgment of others as idiots is as much a comment on our own blind spots as it is on the flaws we detect in other people. Those flaws may be devastatingly real, but if we truly cannot understand why or how others think or act in the way they do, then we, too, must have a blind spot: something is preventing us, at least at the moment, from grasping the perspective that differs from our own.

pg32
In order to change, in order to become better people, children need a loved person who, instead of making impossible demands for perfection, "holds the child in her imperfection, telling her that the world contains possibilities of forgiveness and mercy, and that she is loved as a person of interest and worth in her own right."

As adults, adults who have blind spots, who make mistakes, who harm others, who fail to think - we, too, need persons who can accept us with all our imperfections and still assure us of the possibility of forgiveness, even as they point out the moral demands that our actions impose on us. We will be more likely to correct our moral compasses if we are both challenged and supported.

公意道德觀與個體享樂道德觀

2009-06-01T15:18:00.003+08:00

公意道德觀與個體享樂道德觀只是看起來對立，其實是從同一種生存感覺產生出來的。人民公意道德的正當性根據究竟是什麼？初看起來，與妓女瑪麗昂的生存原則的正當性根據（享樂）不同，人民道德的正當性根據來自人的身體痛苦。人民拉弗羅特說：“疼痛是唯一的罪過，受苦是唯一的邪惡；我可要做個有德行的人。 ”人民道德的訴求不過是私人的痛苦得到補償的媒介，公意道德只是聽起來為了消除世界的罪過和邪惡，其實是為了彌補自己身體的疼痛，像畢希納認識的窮苦人奧伊采克說的：“錢，錢哪！誰沒有錢——那麼誰在這個世界上就只能指望道德了！”　如果主張享樂的瑪麗昂覺得世界上沒有罪惡可言，公意道德多餘，感覺到自己身體痛苦的拉弗羅特覺得世界充滿了邪惡, 公意德行是社會必需的,那麼,是不是其中有一種感覺把生存的事實搞錯了?瑪麗昂真的不覺得身體的疼痛，像她母親說的，只有快感或不快感。感覺享樂或痛苦的身體都是同一個人身，身體就是身體，沒有什麼生理本體差別。你感到身體的享樂，我感到身體的痛苦，或者相反，感覺不都是一樣？　　

不一樣!　　
痛苦是身體的自然本性受到損害或自然欲求受到阻抑。

畢希納把自己的生命體驗帶入案情分析。有一次，他親身感受到身體的自然在體的受傷。他去山區旅行時，寄宿在一個農家，正好遇上這戶人家的幾歲大的男孩死了。畢希納觸摸到這個小男孩冰涼的屍體,不禁打了一個生存性的寒顫:“這個小孩怎麼就這樣被遺棄了？……難道這副容貌、這樣平靜的面孔應該腐爛嗎?”　　

痛苦就是由這“應該”的質詢引導出來的,這“應該”基於一個超自然的理。

...一場關於上帝存在的討論，尖銳地觸及到近代神學的阿裏斯之踵：神義論因個人的痛苦而失效。在這場討論中，丹東和羅伯斯庇爾的立場完全一致：這個世界不可能設想是完美的，既然如此，怎麼可以推斷出造物主這個完美無缺的存在？丹東的同夥裴恩說：除非消除生命在世的不完善，才能證明上帝的存在；我可以不談人世的邪惡，卻無法罔顧我的痛苦。神義論用人的理智證明上帝的存在，人的感情卻不斷提出抗議。“為什麼我在受痛苦？這就是我的無神論的砥柱。痛苦的一次最輕微的抽搐，哪怕僅僅牽扯到一根毫髮，也會把創造物這個概念從頭到尾撕破一個大裂口。”

痛苦成為無神論的砥柱,完全是有神論自己惹來的麻煩:神與至善至福相表裏,有神在,就不應該有痛苦。如果無神,也就無至善至福,痛苦就只是自然秩序中的“適偶”,不可能成為什麼的“砥柱”。

不靠神義而靠人義來克服痛苦的方式:自然性的個體享樂或者公意道德的恐怖革命。這不正分別是尼采思想和馬克思思想的作案方向?妓女瑪麗昂和丹東是尼采的先驅，要求以享樂克服痛苦的消極自由，羅伯斯庇爾是馬克思的先驅，要求以積極自由建立的道德公意的社會制度克服痛苦。享樂的個體道德拒絕用超自然之理來克服偶在的受傷。丹東以為，享樂道德和"道袍"道德都不過是為了讓偶在個體的身體“心安理得”,差異在於,享樂道德並不因身體偶在的受損或受挫而抱怨身體的偶在,不把身體的自然受傷轉移給應然法庭來重新評理,這就勾銷了基於身體的痛苦提出應然道德的可能性。痛苦感覺基於把自然與應然弄混了,把生存的自然意義與生存的道德意義弄混了。

所以，丹東才覺得，從痛苦中生產出的道德訴求引出可以為了“應然”而推行道德革命的自由是不道德的。享樂道德持守生存的自然意義,依循自然性的（消極）自由,拒絕應然性的（積極）自由。不能區分人生的道德意義和自然意義的差異,也就不能區分積極自由與消極自由的差異。身體是自然而然的，身體感覺也是自然地有歧義的。只要應然之理不介入生存的感覺區域,讓生存處於自然迴圈的節律,就不會走到誇張痛苦、籲請公義的地步。生存的意義只是生存偶在的自然性發生,不能以應然之理打斷自然迴圈的節律,應然地安排人生。進一步說,不能以自己的痛苦感為依據設定公意道德的“應然”，推出為了公意道德的積極自由行為的正當性。

如果返回到自然性,就不會有應然這回事，任何一種感覺都沒有在道德意義上高於其他感覺的權利。這就是瑪麗昂說“鮮花也好，玩具也好，感覺都是一樣”的意思，也是瑪麗昂要葆有生存的享樂感,否定生存的痛苦感的原因。可是，羅伯斯庇爾的道袍道德所依據的應然之理，也不是純粹超自然的，好像基督教的超自然的上帝，毋寧說，其革命法理有著另一種感覺的自然性基礎。　

;)

2009-05-18T01:04:00.001+08:00

論語108

2009-05-17T13:30:00.000+08:00

君子不重則不威，學則不固，主忠信，毋友不如己者，過則勿憚改。

Fatima says

2009-04-28T13:28:00.002+08:00

You have told me about your dreams, about the old king and your treasure. And you've told me about omens. So now, I fear nothing, because it was those omens that brought you to me. And I am a part of your dream, a part of your personal legend, as you call it.

that's why i want you to continue toward your goal. If you have to wait until the war is over, then wait. But if you have to go before then, go on in pursuit of your dream. The dunes are changed by the wind, but the desert never changes. That's the way it will be with out love for each other.

Makhub, If I am really a part of your dream, you'll come back one day.

The desert takes our men from us, and they don't always return. We know that, and we are used to it. Those who don't return become a part of the clouds, a part of the animals that hide in the ravines and of the water that comes from the earth. They become a part of everything... they become the soul of the world.

Some do come back. And then the other women are happy because they believe that their men may one day return as well. I used to look at those women and envy them their happiness. Now, i too will be one of the women who wait.

I am a desert woman, and I'm proud of that. I want my husband to wander as free as the wind that shapes the dunes. And, if i have to, I will accept the fact that he has become a part of the clouds, and the animals, and the water of the desert.

IF

2009-03-31T14:04:00.001+08:00

If i ever bet on humanity,
I will never cash a ticket.

present of a secret

2009-03-23T11:11:00.000+08:00

"Goodbye," said the fox. "And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

"What is essential is invisible to the eye," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

"It is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important."

"It is the time I have wasted for my rose--" said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.

"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose..."

"I am responsible for my rose," the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

震撼

2009-03-20T14:18:00.004+08:00

so you wanted to be a writer?

if it doesn't come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don't do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing if for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit there and rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,
don’t be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don’t be dull and boring and
pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don’t add to that.
don’t do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don’t do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in
you.

there’s no other way.

and there never was.

Sifting Throught the Madness For The Word, The Line, The Way

Simply Awesome!!!

2009-02-23T21:39:00.002+08:00

Introduction of The Crisis Of Credit Visualized
The goal of giving form to a complex situation like the credit crisis is to quickly supply the essence of the situation to those unfamiliar and uninitiated. This project was completed as part of my thesis work in the Media Design Program, a graduate studio at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena, California.

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A MUST WATCH FOR IGNORANTS LIKE MYSELF!! Impressive visual communication work as well.

On a side note, this is a THESIS WORK for post-graduated media design program. Excuse me for saying this, even Savannah is launching in HK, it'd take a decade for local graduates produce works on this level.

Sigh...

Quote from Andy Lau

2009-02-21T00:55:00.000+08:00

凡事由其自然
遇了處之泰然
得意之時淡然
失意之時坦然
艱辛曲折必然
歷盡滄桑悟然

Notes On I Ching

2009-02-17T16:19:00.008+08:00

原則: 三易
變易 -> Constant Variables
簡易 -> Inexperience / Lack of wisdom to explain ->萬事有因
不易 -> Constant (Universe / God /Being)

法則: 理數象
理 -> 理由
數 -> 統計
象 -> 現象

天尊地卑，乾坤定矣．
卑高以陳，貴賤位矣．

天為遠，地為近．尊指偉大，卑指平常．尊Vs卑: 卑is a relative adjective when 尊's definition is set under a context. Doesn't mean 卑 in the general sense.

乾坤 = 相對兩極．高＝尊

Everything we face took place within the space between limits. Yet limits are always pre-defined. It was set to be Sky & Ground only bcos way back they defined it according to what they see. And now, we could have push the limit all the way as far as galaxy & as deep as the inner core if we want to.

It was their belief we human are always, always on the ground. That’s why we are and should be 卑 in that sense (being on one side of an end point). But if I were to apply Galaxy Vs Inner Core as the limit, then we will all be standing just in the “middle” (supposedly)!! Isn’t that a more valid position for us to further define尊/卑 or貴/賤? And wouldn’t it be much easier to understand the concept of “relative” and apply the last line of貴賤位矣?

But then again, that's the limit we set based on our "understanding" of the “end point”, which does not essentially represent the "truth".

However it’s important to have limits on both ends, without finding them out, it’s hard for us to know where we stand and thus losing our balance.

If we were to apply 三易 to explain these lines, shd Sky & Ground (Defined Limits)= 不易，We (Human) = 變易 and the happenings = 簡易?

It's Paulo Time

2009-02-14T04:18:00.000+08:00

"…in all the woods and forests, God did not create a single leaf the same as any other… People go against nature because they lack the courage to be different."

"You're someone who's different, but who wants to be the same as everyone else. And that, in my view, is a serious illness."

"Live. If you live, God will live with you. If you refuse to run his risks, he'll retreat to that distant heaven and be merely a subject for philosophical speculation. Everyone knows this, but no one takes the first step, perhaps for fear of being called insane."

"If only everyone could know and live with their inner craziness...people would be fairer and happier."

"The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort."

Veronica Decided To Die

Paulo Coelho

Thank you, my real name is Jane Jones

2009-02-12T05:07:00.003+08:00

"Lying is the most fun a girl can have
without taking her clothes off.
But it's better if you do."

Placebo, Digitalized

2009-02-11T17:06:00.001+08:00

Lily Bollinger Said...

2009-02-11T02:18:00.000+08:00

"I drink it when I'm happy and when I'm sad.
Sometimes I drink it when I'm alone.
When I have company I consider it obligatory.
I trifle with it if I'm not hungry
and I drink it when I am.
Otherwise I never touch it,
unless I'm thirsty."

Bold, direct & impressive eh!? It's a pity as it was an undated statement and only limited info abt Lily available on the net. I would love love love to get to know this lady better.

Lily Bollinger, aka Elizabeth Law de Lauriston Bourbers (Seriously, let's just call her lily...) is the lady who expanded Bollinger into a world-known brand fr the early 40s throughout late 60s.

For some reason, this quote brings me back to the conversation with Irene, my politician friend for a Basque country feminist party. She was the one who taught me abt the French feminism and introduced me to Simone de Beauvoir.

Phew, wouldn't it be nice to be sipping Bollinger as I type this piece? No vintage needed, a Special Cuvée would ease my pumping heart just fine.

Happy Drinking, Drinking Happy =)

Viva Mr B!

2009-02-10T15:58:00.000+08:00

I want to print this as 10ft x 10ft wallpaper for my bedroom!!!

in all faireness

2009-02-10T10:00:00.000+08:00

I would never betray you
if it were not for
vanity and exploration

how can I know
you are the best
drink
unless I drink many
drinks?

how can I like your
toes and your eyes
and arms and shoulders

unless I have
looked at other
toes and eyes and
arms and shoulders?

you too must
drink other drinks

I want to be
the one you want in your
mind and your gut and
your bathroom

but I don't want you
to fuck the whole
world
to find out

I think ten men would
be fair
for you

twenty women
for me

and haven't we
had that
already?

I'll even let you
have
a couple of women
if you'll
let me
watch
and masturbate
across
bodies

I only want to
be fair

do think this
over

love is
important

and
after I bury
you

I promise to
abstain for
3 weeks.

I am totally hook on this Buk’s manuscript archive. Here’s another unpublished piece he signed on 2nd Aug 1975.

in all fairness, it was not at all fair for him to even type this piece.

in all fairness, fairness is just a typical excuse to get away with pretty much everything.

in all fairness, we are a bunch of selfish and self righeous idiots.

in all fairness, at least we proved unfairness.

The Laughing Heart

2009-02-09T04:42:00.000+08:00

Your life is your life,
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
Be on the watch.
There are ways out.
There is a light somewhere.
It may not be much light but
It beats the darkness.
Be on the watch.
The gods will offer you chances.
Know them.
Take them.
You can’t beat death but
You can beat death in life, sometimes.
And the more often you learn to do it,
The more light there will be.
Your life is your life.
Know it while you have it.
You are marvelous
The gods wait to delight in you.

First published in 1993 in Prairie Schooner, The Laughing Heart is probably one of Bukowsky final works. It is truly amazing how he changed from the disbeliever who questions everything, a man who once wrote "detestable spiritual qualities" had come to admit there's a bigger source of power larger than man.

Love that he uses "gods"... just another brilliant Bukowsky touch.

Found this clip on youtube with Tom Waits reciting "The Laughing Heart" and Bono reciting "Roll The Dice", which shd be clippings from Born Into This, the biographical documentary of Bukowsky that I have yet to watch!

Roll The Dice is another classic display of Mr B's balls. Reminds me of his famous quote - "I have one of two choices -- stay in the post office and go crazy ... or stay out here and play a writer and starve. I have decided to starve." He was 49 back then. Still can't quite figure out if his balls were really that big or it was simply becos he had nothing to lose, at all.

The Laughing Heart was included in Betting On The Muse.